If I Can See
by Kaledena
Summary: It's about a young girl and a young boy. He's keeping secrets. Someone gets killed. A year later, both are living in agony. How can they find eachother again and stop the city from being over run by those in higher authority?
1. Waking to Reality

Well hello a story amazing. Well I'm off my writer's block, I hope. So let's just say this. I don't own the crow, or anything I put in hear? Got it? Good... well this is just the intro but I hope you guys and dolls enjoy it.

It was cold. That's all she knew. There was no pain, no sound, not even of her very own harsh breathing. There was no memory. There was just blackness. A world of nothing, sheltered by fear of waking up. She knew she was in the ground. That was obvious. At her feet she suddenly began to feel again, and she felt a gooey substance, but only on her feet. She was lying on something soft, it felt like.... An old fabric that she had known before, but she couldn't recall the name. All she knew was her name. Kelly. Kelly Draven. She was... in a tough state before that, but she couldn't remember what happened. So she went to sleep again, maybe regaining her strength.

Dreams; mixtures of reality and another realm. Maybe memories... but scattered into pictures that could not be arranged, even with the highest specialists.

When she felt consciousness come back inside of her mind she knew that she was dead, or suppose to be. But she was breathing... even though there was no air in the box in which she lay. She knew she should be dead, without that precious air, but she wasn't. How was it possible? It wasn't, but yet it was happening.

Her body had feeling then, all of it, and she felt the decay in her hair, the feeling that it was decaying. How long had she been there? Was she dead for so long? Would she wake to a world of chaos and destruction? Would it matter? After already dying death was not a scary thing anymore. She knew that there were places that she would go... even if she were never really there herself. At that moment she knew she had to move r she would be beneath the ground forever. Pushing the box up, it was much lighter than she would have imagined. The gravity felt weird on her arms and she wanted to fall back, but she didn't. She kept moving.

The mud and dirt surrounded her and covered her face, her body. There was no escape from it. It was if running from darkness was pointless. It was... eventually darkness overtakes everyone. The dirt clogged her nose and made it so she couldn't open her eyes, even though she didn't really want to try. It went through her fingers and toes, through the nice shoes they had buried her in. They went against her wishes though. She never wanted to be buried... she wanted to be burned. It probably didn't matter anymore.

As she pulled herself out of the ground, the cold rain surrounded her, pulling her in. She had always loved the rain, because it never happened where she grew up. They day she moved to the big city it was raining. It was cold, but not too cold and she loved it. Her mom and told her it was what she loved, and since that moment Kelly appreciated the rain, bringing with it life.

Her lungs filled with the fresh air and she felt better at once. Falling to the ground, she tried to open her eyes, only to be blinded by even a dim light. She was alive, or something close to it. The impossible had happened, and for once something good happened to her.


	2. The Unhappy Boy

A muddy boot soiled a book as he stretched. Still, what did he care? It wasn't like he ever wasted his time reading. His job didn't call for reading, and for that, he was happy. He read too much when he was a kid.His job called for broads, booze, and cigarettes. Also setting fire and killing every once in a while, but that was how it went, right? After all... who cared about all those little people he killed? Certainly not him. Certainly not Hap either. He knew he was lying... and he kenw he was sad about the book underneath his feet.

"Ahh...damn it all!" The roar came from a room away as the door slammed shut. Willie stood and stretched. Hap was back, for sure. No one else made that kind of racket over coming through a door way.

"Did you bring the booze?" Willie called, slamming the almost paper-like door to the side. There Hap stood, wet as a newborn and dripping all over the place. His rough face looked up and smirked at Willie. "Yeah, yeah... I got your damn booze."

Willie took a step over and grabbed the paper bag which held his lovely drink. He pulled out the amber colored liquid and opened it. When he brought it to his lips he heard Hap say something rather sternly to him.

"Don't drink all o' it, half of that's mine." Willie simply shrugged and brought the bottle to his lips again.

When he was finished he set the bottle done on the table. It now only held about a fourth of the original quantity and Hap gave him a dirty look. He glanced at the bottle and wrinkled his nose."If you weren't the best damn shot in the city I think I'd break yer neck."

"I'm sure many more would do just that." Willie said, crossing the room and sitting on the broken burgandy couch. He put his feet up once more and sighed. He was feeling the after effects of drinking. Just why, he wasn't sure. He drunk too much. He really should have been immune.

"So, what did Doc have to say?" He asked, looking back at Hap. Yes, he had been at home all day while Hap did all thechores. Yes, he did enjoy it. Truth was, Willie hated talking with Doc more than anyone else. He may have been the boss, but that didn't mean that Willie had to enjoy it. He had actually had thoughts about quitting... maybe doing something better with himself, but the booze had made him stop thinking along those thoughts. Thankfully, of course. He had most days and nights off, besides doing the occational murder. Though the pay wasn't very good, he was living... in a burned out apartment with broken things. He sighed.

"Thinkin' again?" Hap's voice cut through the silence. Willie looked over to see the bottle completely drained. He sighed, he'd get more that night.

"Yeah..." He said, taking a deep breathe to steady himself. It wasn't often that Hap asked him about his personal life, but each time it made Willie cringe.

"Thinking about her?" He asked, sounding as if he were concentrating on something else. In truth he really wanted to know, but he knew Willie's pride all too well. Willie didn't talk about her lightly.

"She was everything." Willie smiled sadly. It was his fault she was dead. No... no that wasn't it. Well, maybe. "Everything... and I lost her."

Hap's hand fell on his shoulder in a comforting way and Willie felt himself smile. It wasn't very often that Hap gained this fatherly quality, but when he did Willie almost believed that he could tell this man anything. He knew he could not, his loyalty ran far deeper to his job than to Willie. He was a killer, and you can't trust a killer. He was living proof of that, for sure.

Willie moved to the window and gave a sigh, sitting down and grabbing the empty bottle of booze- just for comfort.

"It wasn't your fault, Wil." Hap said, shouting back from his place in the kitchen, "She got in the way. What more could you have done?" The sound of falling pans hit Willie's ears and a few swift curses from Hap.

"I could've saved 'er!" Wil said quietly to himself, so that Hap wouldn't hear. He raised his voice, "What'd Doc say?"

"Oh, you know... the usual." Hap said, appearing at the door way. His ruggish face was twisted into a smile and Willie knew what was coming next. "We've got a date tonight, Wil."

Willie was not as happy as he made Hap believe. If anything, he wanted this whole job to go away. He was lying when he tried to make himelf believe that he enjoyed murdering people. There was a point when he didn't mind... and then she came. But he never told her about his job until it was too late. He was intending to marry her and leave the entire life behind. She had shown him everything... making him see with clear eyes as to what he was really doing.

"Where's it tonight?" He asked, letting his head fall back aginst the wall that his chair's back legs rested against. He gave his friend a sideways glance. Hap only smirked sideways.

* * *

Kelly was delirious, or so it seemed. All of a sudden abrupt colors were being thrown at her from all sides. She couldn't see, but she felt the ground beneath her. It was cold, buteven so, it was alive.Everything had a living pulse. At least there was ground. Everything was alive again. She still couldn't remember for the life of her, but her eyesight was beginning to return. 

She heard something and it startled her. The ground was wet... she was wet. She felt it! Finally the swirls of color that had imprinted thmeselves on her eyes from the darkness began forming into coherent blobs. Coherency. That was what she needed.

When the vision finally returned she stared through two eyes... she saw this animal, staring at her as if it could read her mind. It's black feathers glistened in the night and she saw herself too. Her eyes were shining in the moonlight and suddenly she realized that she was looking through it's eyes! She yelped and jumped backwards, not expecting it at all.

"_Don't worry Kelly. I'm not hear to hurt you..."_

She didn't know why, but she felt that she _should_ trust this bird... this crow!

"_Follow me, I'll help you." _

And she found herself following this brid, knowing that it would not lead her astray. She kenw in her heart that she would follow it wherever it meant to take her. Perhaps she could find some reason for it all- some remnants of her old life.


	3. It's Almost Like

The bird first led her to a pair of shoes. The alleyway was completely unfamiliar and it frightened Kelly at first. Still, she had the eyes of a bird and she couldn't remember anything. She clutched her arms for comfort as she followed in the cold rain. IT hit her all over and she felt it with very hit. It was like a thousand needles. She couldn't remember it ever feeling like that before, but maybe this crow could explain it to her. It had been speaking to her quietly as she stumbled along. No one saw her. She briefly wondered if perhaps it was because the crow was watching over her. Still, she reasoned that people saw crows all the time. Why should her presence make any difference? She pushed this trouble some thoughts to the back of her mind and concentrated on the small steps she was taking.

She was lead to an apartment. She didn't ask any questions in her mind.

"I've been here before…" She spoke to the crow, looking at the scraps in the doorway. "But still… it's not. It's not right. Something's happened to this place."

The crow's beady eyes didn't move from her face but it nodded it's head- in understanding? She would need to think on this later! She took a shaky step and was relieved to find that the balcony allowed her to get out of the rain. Now that she was out, she wanted to step back it. It had suddenly gotten very cold and Kelly couldn't distinguish this feeling. Music was floating to her ears and she recalled it from somewhere.

"…What a day this has been. What a rare mood I'm in…."

She paused for a moment and shook herself. It was so familiar!

Her shaky hand touched the door handle and a thousand memories hit her at once. Not enough to know anything either! She saw someone… they seemed happy. There were two of them.

"All the music of life seems to be like a bell that is ringing for me!" The girl sang in a pretty voice. She had dark hair and an oval face. Bright eyes were squinting in the dark. She growled in anger at a wrong note as she tried to read the music in candlelight. A man came behind her and draped his arms around her. He laughed at her face, which was filled with frustration. He was a handsome man, with brown locks falling in his eyes. They were eyes filled with laughter. The man had a clean-shaven face and a big smile.

"You'll get that." He said lightly.

She sighed and when she spoke her voice hand an irritated edge to it. It made Kelly wonder how long she had been looking at the music.

"I'd better. That audition tomorrow won't win itself."

"Why don't you take a small break?" The man said in a sly voice.

"I can't." She said, putting the music on her lap and looked at him. It was a look that should have told him to stop whatever train of thought he was on. "I've got too much to do."

"You've been workin' on that score for weeks, doll." He said, slipping around in front of her. "If ye don't have it now, you never will."

"I know, I know." She said nodding. "But I just c-" She was cut off by a long kiss from the man. She pulled away and smiled at him. "No-" She was cut off again.

"If you protest one more time." I lightly threatened, staring at her seriously.

"And what are you going to do, Mr. Musician?" She teased, a smile gracing her lips as she poked her finger at him in protest. "No." She added after that thought.

A pillow hit her in the face and she screamed happily, grabbing ice cream that was sitting on the table close by her. She hit him and ran. He chased after her willingly. It took at least five minutes, but the boy pinned her to the couch. She was struggling against him and they were both laughing.

"Do you have to kiss another guy in this?" He asked her lightly. She shrieked.

"What? Are you jealous?" She asked, biting at his arm.

"Hey!" She said lightly, biting her neck in response. A look of please passed over her face.

"Perhaps I should distract you from getting this lead." He said huskily as he kissed her passionately.

"Are you serious?" She said, trying to push him off. "It's too cold for this! I can't feel myself let alone feel you!"

He laughed. It was a nice laugh. Rich. "Just because our heat is off doesn't mean it can't get warm in here."

He kissed her passionately once more. She gave in and they began exploring each other greedily, clearly in love and not wanting to miss a second of each other's company.

Kelly gasped and moved her hand away from the door handle.

"Who are they?" She said to the bird, not bothering to look. There was no answer, and Kelly had to make sure the crow had not flown away. It hadn't. It simply stared at her patiently.

Her tongue curled around her lower lip nervously and she grabbed the door handle and turned, stepping into the apartment. The place was a wreck, but she recognized it. It was the room the two people had been in. She looked around, careful not to touch anything.

The room was a collection of spider webs and music scores. She noticed that there was nothing of value. After she toured the apartment she returned back to the crow, who was waiting patiently in the living room.

She looked in a broken mirror and recognized the reflection.

She was the young woman who was singing!

She turned and looked at the crow questioningly. "This was my home." She stated.

_"Yours… and his." _

The voice was in the back of her mind. She was somehow getting used to the idea of this crow- this bird! - speaking with her.

"What happened to us?" She pleaded with the bird to tell her. She had to know how her life had been.

The voice said steadily. _"I wish I could tell you."_

"Why don't you?" She said, her eyes begging the bird.

_"I'm sorry, Kelly."_

She felt her anger rising up. "So what? You're just going to let me wander around until I'm fortunate enough to be killed again!"

There was no answer, and she found that it was impossible to take her anger out on this crow. She didn't even know if it knew what anger meant.

_"On the contrary, I have a good idea of what it is." _The voice said in her mind and she suddenly wished that it would go away. "_I'm going to go find some food for you. I know you've been through a lot today." _Its voice was level and she found herself relaxing. "_Please, you must trust me. Don't wander off."_

The crow flew out the nearest window, which had a huge hole in it.

"Easy for you to say." Kelly muttered to herself as she sat on the couch and huddled against herself to stay warm.

* * *

"He gave ya two weeks, Johnny." Hap spoke straight, making the man with the red face in front of him shake with dear. "Now, the boss doesn't like to wait. He's a very impatient man, as you'll find."

"Just give me one more week!" The man pleaded, knowing it would be his life if he didn't do something.

"He gave you enough time…" Hap said, making it seem like he considered what the man said.

"I'll give you that money! I've got half now!" The man said, throwing himself on his wallet.

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Hap said, shoving the guy back.

"But where'd you get that money?" Wil said, walking around to face the guy.

"I wouldn't mess with you guys." The man said, eyes growing in his fear. He tried to move away from Wil.

Wil, although not bulky like his friend Hap, had a face to reckon with. His eyes were hard and painted with sorrow. No one knew what he was capable of doing without even caring. Not only that but he was known in that city for killing more than his share of people.

"It's not a secret that you've been taken a little here and there for your own benefit." Hap continued.

"I didn't!"

"Shuddup." Wil said, aiming his gun and the man's head. He pulled the trigger and the corpse fell back on the couch.

He looked to Hap with an annoyed glance. "I wish you'd stop messin' with them."

"Oh, come on." Hap said, putting on a pouty face. "You know that's the most fun I get out of this."

"If you were a broad ye might get a few nights free with that look." Wil said, punching his friend's shoulder lightly.

They both quickly went through the apartment, looking for any scraps of money or anything worth selling.

"How'd you find out he was taken money from us?" Hap asked, looking at Wil as he searched through a dresser. Wil didn't even look up.

"He practically wrote it on paper." He answered.

Hap's roughish face smiled. "Jackpot." He stated while showing Wil a handful of money in an envolope. "He didn't have the money, eh?"

Wil have Hap a pitiful smile.

"What do you want to do with it?" Hap asked Wil.

"Musical." Wil said, more to himself.

"What?" Hap's surprised look made Wil shrug.

"I'm just kiddin'." Wil said, looking at away.

"Good." Hap laughed. "I thought you were gettin' soft on me."

"Nah. Let's go."

The room was in pieces when they finally left.


	4. Out Tonight

"I know what we can do with the rest of that money." Wil said, smiling devishly. Hap looked at him sideways and smiled.

"Let me guess..."

"We could get booze." Wil suggested, knowing full well that that was what they were going to do with the money.

"Yeah, Yeah. I hear ya. Let's go."

The two men took a right and began walking towards the alcohol and tabbaco store. It was raining, and Hap was trying to cover himself in the long coat he wore. Wil was walking quietly and steadily through the raina s if it weren't there. His long brown hair was being plastered across his face as it filtered the rain from the sky. It was usual for both of their personalities.

Although Wil was, in all truth, Hap's best friend, he remember what the guy used to be like. Where there used to be a cockish smile, only a small sad smile remained. Wil had been the most untouchable cool guy in the town. He used to smile at everyone in a dangerous sort of way and he used to wink at cameras.

At that time Wil was a musician. He was the guitarist in a band that was on the verge of becoming famous. All the bars wanted them to play. Unfortunately that fame got Wil into a lot of trouble. Hap almost wished that Wil hadn't gotten so famous- he would have remained as he had been- full of life. Still, the authority in town offered him a job one night after a brawl. Although Wil was making money, he needed more money to pay off a few deals that had been made. He took the job willingly and soon became the best shot in the city. Not only was he well known for his music but for the violence that surrounded him as well. He took jobs as an assasin, and soonw as making enough money to get by.

Not everyone knew about this life of his. Wil was still full of life. It was no wonder those two fell in love.

She was a girl from a little down in the south. It almost was like she loved everything. She was pretty and a smile almost always covered her face.She had come to the city only a year before they met. She wanted to be an actress as she had talent. When she wasn't working on her audition music she loved to hang out at the local bars. To make money she used to dance at a bar called the "Night Owl".It was only a matter of time before the two met. He had been at one of her shows, and knew as soon as he saw her.She had never even heard of Wil, and he hadn't heard of her. They fell absolutely crazy for one another.They lived with eachother for a year and a half when he finally asked for her hand.Still, he hadn't told her abouthis other job. Hap had alwayssuspected thathe was afraid to. After all, she was perfect to him. Why would someone so perfect want to marry a murder?

Eventually his job had caught up with him though. He never even saw it coming.

The rain sprinkled on the pavement of the sidewalk and a few cars drove by. It was a dark night, but lights from the lamps blinked. They bought ten bottles of booze and went home. Hap decided to drink with his friend. If he let him drink alone he would probably drink all of the ten bottles and die of posioning. The night was spent in silence, Willie trying to forget about all his troubles and Hap letting him.

* * *

Memories surrounded Kelly when she awoke, but she couldn't remember anything important. _Who was she?_ The question she really needed answered. The crow was no where to be seen but she keep seeing images from him- pulling her in and out of consiousness. She thought maybe it all was a dream, but the dirt still sticking to her skin and the police-taped room told her this was not the case. When she finally got up she found food fromt he crow, and she ate that. It didn't look appetising, but she realized jsut how hungry she was by the smell. She went around the house. turning on the faucets, and was disappointed to find that the water in the building was turned off. She was halfway surprised that after a year the place ahdn't been sold. Maybe no one wanted to buy a place where someone had been killed. 

Wait. _How did she know that?_

She shrugged it off and found old an old sweater of hers. She put it on and decided that she couldn't stay in the cramped apartment any longer. It was too cramped and she had too much on her mind. Too much that she needed to ask. She laced up the shoes again, realizing that they weren't tight enough the first time she laced them. Oh yes, she was still almost dead. As she was walking past a counter she was cut by a knife that was sticking out. She flinched but was curious. It didn't hurt... She looked down at her arm. The cut was healing as she was watching. This new feeling was so strange... she shivered and decided to move.

As she went outside she realized that it was still raining. She smiled when it first hit her. She could finally appriecate it at last, and she found herself standing in one spot for at least an hour. When a car beeped at her she was struck out of her trance.

"You need a lift, lady?" A skinny man asked, looking at carefully.

"Uh- no. Thank you." She said, loudly enough for him to hear her. The car drove away and she watch the lights disappear as he turned the street corner. As soon as it was gone she began walking down the street. A few places she remembered by theway they looked. Still, everything seemed like it was from a dream. She began to wonder how many people had ever been brought back to life by her new friend. It was an old theory, she remembered. She had learned about it in a large study with not enough light. The study smelled like old books... it smelled like her father.

She jumped as a car speeded by and almost hit her. This place was so big... but in a way it was so much smaller than she remembered. The rain began to slow a few minutes later. The water splashed as her boots hit the ground. There was a girl who skateboarded by and Kelly briefly thought that it was strange that she would be skateboarding in the rain. She shrugged it off and came to a bar.

The title was lit up. "Night Owl" was the name and it blinked once or twice. It seemed familiar. She couldn't quite place it. A wierd feeling went through her and she continued on to another bar. She didn't get the bizarre feeling as she approached it and she decided to go in. She found the loud music pulsing in her every cell as she walked in. She noticed that a few people looked at her oddly as she walked in. She self-consiously tried to straighten herself out as she walked into the blaring lights and beating music. She suddenly had a feeling to dance. It started out with the other's at first, and she didn't know why they all stopped after words. She realized just _how_ she was dancing. It was provocitive... It was appealing to others... it was dirty... it was damn hot. Suddenly she wanted every man in sight chasing after her for pure enjoyment. She swirled her hips in motion with the music and fell forward, wrapping where legs around herself. When she unwrapped herself it was slow and sexy and she noticed a few stares.

She felt powerful. It was a nice new feeling. She hadn't remembered feeling thay powerful since... She gasped and felt like she needed to stop. Still- _she_ was a professional. She ended it nicely and walked with a sexy swirve into the crowds. She still received looks of admiration. She even got a few offers.

One of these offers was appealing actually. It was the manager. Apparantly Kelly had even distracted the men from the "professional" dancers. She gave a small blush as she realized he was asking her to take a job. She couldnt' think- she told him she'd be back.

As soon as she got away from all the people she collapse in an alleyway and began to sob. So that was what she left. What was the point in coming back if this was all she was meant to do? This was nothing... this was not a life. She felt like at one point she had believed that this was okay. She supposed it was. It wasn't like she was giving anything away. Besides, she felt wanted in front of everyone's eyes. It was a refreshing feeling. She kind of liked it.

NO! It was degrading. She didn't want people looking at her body. She didn't need it!

And yet... somehow she _needed_ that reassurance. At least at that moment. She had just been dead for god's sake! She needed something with a little more proof than she had been getting. his job would be as solid as anything else, right?

Someone was talking to her. She couldn't tell through her blurry eyes. She was being lifted up, though not gently. It was a man's voice, and it stank with alcohol. She bite her lip as he pushed her against the wall. Strange thing was, she didn't feel anything. No pain. Suddenly she became very angry. Why did she have to leave the world of unreality? She could have dreamt in the ground for years! No thoughts... no problems. yet the whole time she had been blissfully in a dream. She had been in a nice land. She liked it there. Why should they give her these powers?

She felt herself hit him. And hit him again. She kept hitting him, over and over. How dare this man even think that he could ake advantage of a helpless woman? Harder. She heard something break. She didn't care. She hit him again.

When she finally came out of it she was clean and staring at a broken body on the ground.

She had killed somebody. She had. She was shocked, but then she had seen it coming as if from a distant dream. And somehow she knew that this man would not be found...

"Well, I guess I've done murder..." She sighed, and hide the body more in the alleyway. "Well... I'm sure it's not the worst I'll do." She cleaned herself up and went to go talk to the man.

She was shuffled into the back of the club and was changed into a small outfit of black leather. She sat motionless as a statueas the expirenced woman put on her makeup, explaining something to her.


End file.
